A Nourished Woman
IWD - Daisy Chain Flower Crown
Hello wild ones,
Today is International Women’s Day and I, along with an incredible group of women, are so excited to read all of your posts from our invitation sent out earlier as a way to honour this day and celebrate one another.
As I sat with the prompts to try and decide which one I would write about, I found myself taking a walk down memory lane through my journey as a woman. I was catapulted back in time to previous chapters reflecting on who I’ve been, where I’ve been, and how I’ve been. Some memories strong and powerful, others more tender.
I felt called to respond to two prompts, one I created for myself, and one of the ones offered in the post.
What have I had to unlearn as a woman to truly honour myself?
What does reclaiming the feminine mean to you?
What have I had to unlearn as a woman to truly honour myself?
For much of my life, I learned how to be “good”. I was encouraged to smile, be polite, and be lady-like - whatever that meant. It was at a young age that I realized approval and acceptance came from being palatable, from not rocking any boats. Big emotions, in which I had many, weren’t encouraged or supported, and using my voice was deemed aggressive - that’s when I learned my anger was “bad”, and so down it went, subdued.
“It’s nice to be nice”, a line I often heard, and although well-meaning, it was offered at times when I shouldn’t have been nice, but rather, I should have had boundaries. But boundaries are bad, right? Too controlling and too mean, it was thought. So down they went, silenced.
Being a “good girl” meant I was accepted, welcomed, and celebrated - something I believe all women want, but not at the cost of extracting ourselves, silencing our voices, and violating our own boundaries in the name of approval.
It was years later, long after my divorce and the subsequent abusive relationship I was in afterward, that I realized I had built my entire life around being “good” and living up to societal expectations cast upon me. My life wasn’t mine, it was the product of conditioning.
Each time I suppressed myself, pain and dis-ease grew within me.
Each time I chose to remain silent, I became a diluted version of myself.
Every time someone crossed a boundary and I said nothing in response, I fell further down the "good girl" hole trying to stay safe.
For all the times I wanted to say no, and didn't, the people pleaser within me grew.
Unlearning and untethering from the “good girl” unearthed the anger I had held down for so many years, and then came the grief - a necessary traverse to reclaim my voice, power, and body.
The journey to reclaiming the embodied woman within me has been a wild one. It’s challenging territory to traverse; to work through all the layers that birthed the “good girl” and navigate the pain and grief that comes along with it.
And, it’s possible.
It’s possible to source our own power & confidence within.
It’s possible to use our voice, even in the most difficult conversations.
And it’s possible to feel safe in relationship with another while being ourselves.
What does reclaiming the feminine mean to you?
This is what reclaiming the feminine means to me….
To feel strong.
To use our voice, even if it shakes.
To take up space and claim it.
To explore all parts of who we are, without shame.
To honour our bodies and attune to its rhythm.
To express our emotions, even the hard ones.
To tap into the wisdom of our womb.
To be bold, and soft.
To stoke the fire within.
To allow ourselves to be seen, heard, and known.
To celebrate the women around us and lift each other up.
To go against the grain and carve our own creative path.
To live expressively.
To receive the love, care, and acknowledgement offered to us.
And to trust ourselves above all else, because that is where our power rests.
Today we celebrate and acknowledge the women who came before us, the women here with us today, and the women who will come after us.
May we remember, return, and reclaim what it means to be a woman.
Today’s post felt like the perfect time to share a poem I recently wrote.
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A Nourished Woman
A nourished woman
Self expressed
Attuned to the rhythms
Feeling every edge of her
Too tall, not skinny enough
Smile, you’re prettier that way
A nourished woman
Knows that’s nonsense
For her skin and bones
Know truths you’ll never hear
Wear this, do that
Stay quiet, we like you that way
A nourished woman
Is one to be feared
For her voice echoes
In the valleys where she was once burned
Do more, don’t complain
Stay young, you’re palatable that way
A nourished woman
Doesn’t fit in
For her feet carve paths
On landscapes you’ll never touch
Maiden
Mother
Crone
Edge by edge
The nourished woman knows
That her value doesn’t rest
In the hands of those
Who scathe over the surface
But in the embers left under each crackling fire within her bones.
I hope you all have a gentle and nourishing day and remember all of who you are, in celebration.
As always, stay wild and go gently….
Laurita xx
If you are new here, welcome! My name is Laurita and I am a Somatic Psychotherapist, writer, poet, storyteller and woman on a mission to support other women in reclaiming their voice, power, and body.
Oh, I loved reading this Laurita! I was nodding along the whole time. For so many years I was told not to be so angry, to keep quiet, toe the line... you know how it goes. But now at 42 I've realised the anger I have felt is fully justified! Adore the section too on reclaiming the feminine, it was like looking in the mirror and so relatable. And your poem is stunning. Thanks so much for sharing so open-heartedly x
This is so beautiful. Shaking off the shackles of the ‘good girl’ is something that takes so much nourishment and strength, that you write in buckets. 🌼